An incomplete collection of original poems, songs, and short stories I wrote in my late teens to mid-twenties...

A Look Inside My Angsty Mind

Someone I had, until recently, considered a dear friend (included in the dedication) inspired me to post these on here (as well as a new poem).

The following poems and stories are dedicated to: Barbara Kaddatz, Max Abbas (RIP), Steve Johnson (RIP), Kyle Hansen, Greg Allex, Amanda Augustine, Chewy Kaddatz (RIP), Ian Tjaden, Marilyn Manson, Eminem, Limp Bizkit, Metallica, System of a Down, Static-X (RIP Wayne Static), Disturbed, Korn, Linkin Park (RIP Chester Bennington), Staind, Alan Eller, Dan Ward, Anthony Thone, Travis Nesburg, Ali Abdi, Ray Hill, Jay Jensen, Tony Pribbenow, and Abdirizak Farah.


Out of respect for even the ASSHOLES named above, unless in the title or content I will not include which people inspired which poems/stories.

There is no shame; admittedly, some of these just suck ass.

Despite some content, I have never been suicidal.

Alien Invasion

Sweet dreams are made of these

They come from different galaxies

Their bodies are shaped like big huge trees

But oxygen they cannot breathe


Sweet dreams are like a breeze

They're gone before you see who speaks

Expendable are these human lives

Which includes you and me


Sweet dreams are seeing me

And everything I am to be

Everything I cannot see

Comes to me inside my dreams


American Dream Denial

How come we only show the beauty

How come we don't show the horror

How come we only show the purity

How come we don't show the gore


We suck people in

Promising them riches

Only to enslave their bodies

With prolonged hours of toil


We say, "Come here to be free"

But in return you must be

A slave to our system

Read the fine print


America, the land of hope

The land of the brave

The land of the free

The land of pipe dreams


Anymore

Why don't you

Just leave me alone

I don't want you

Anymore


I'm with

Someone now

I love you

No more


So please

Leave me be

I don't want you

Anymore


Betrayal

Why must

All my friends

Betray me

In such cruel ways


Either I trust you

I tell you things

You turn your back

And tell everyone


Or you play

Mind games

With me

And I forgive you


But you keep

On doing it

Again and again

I just never learn


I always lose

My friendships

Because of

Their betrayal


Don't ask me why

That's a question for them

I'm sick of being played

It's better to have no friends


That's why

I never bothered

Until this year

With you


Now you are

The most recent friend

To have the chance

To betray me


And guess what

You took that chance

I never really was your friend

Was I?


You were mine

But not anymore

You played too many mind games

Now you're done for


I shouldn't trust anybody

But yet I do

Can anybody tell me why

I always fall for the trap


It's better to have no friends

Than friends you can't trust

Friends who don't care for you

Friends who play you


Friends come

And friends go

But friends will always

Betray you sooner or later


Bleeding Heart

You broke my heart, motherfucker

Now you must die

You destroyed my life

Now you must die


Die, die, my little Greggy

Oh, wait, you're no longer mine

You broke my heart

For the very last time


I left it up to you

And you blew the whistle

You just cause me pain

How can I live without you


I opened my mind and my body to you

You did not appreciate me

You treated me like a queen

Yet at the same time like shit


Someday you'll know how it feels

Maybe you already do

I let you break my heart

So that I would not break yours


Break

I give in

And you pull away

It always happens

The same old way


Day in, day out

That's how it goes

I thought you loved me

But there's no rose


Not anymore

After I give into you

No more attention

No more love


Complete ignoration

To my feelings


You're gonna pay

Don't think you can get out of it

Come here, baby

You're gonna get some, boy


I'm gonna break your

Puny little heart, boy

Just like you

Broke mine


I thought you cared for me

But it was all lies

I hope you burn in hell for this

I've been burned so many times


PAYBACK'S A BITCH, AIN'T IT?


Broken Promise

I'm going to tell Kyle

What went on

During the time

Our friendship was gone


I really hope

He doesn't hate me

After I tell him

What had enslaved me


I told people

What he had asked me

He asked me if he

Could have sex with me


Although he really didn't

He just said what if

But it's the same thing

Or would you plead the fifth


He said he wouldn't hate me

And I hope he won't

When I tell him of

The promise I broke


Care to Go Psycho?

The note under the pillow stated, "You're going to die in the near future." It had been pasted together from letters out of a magazine. Max Abbas crumpled the piece of paper into a ball. It must have been a joke from one of his pesky little siblings.

RING! RING! Max jumped as he heard the phone, figuring it was one of his friends wanting to hang out.

"Hello?"

"Come to the high school," a strange voice said on the other line.

"Who is this? Josh? Lyle?"

"Come to the main entrance," the voice continued. "It's very important."

"Okay, I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

Max hung up, wondering who that was and what could possibly be so important. He began to get ready for his meeting with the mystery person.


When Max arrived at the school, the parking lot was completely empty, except for his car. He parked, got out, and made his way to the front entrance. When he entered the building, there was only one other person there, leaning against the wall to his left.

"Hey, Hansen. How's it going?" he asked as he walked by.

"Why is it every day that I feel the pain?" Kyle Hansen said.

"Huh?" Max turned to face him. "Hey, are you okay, man? You got this weird look on your face."

"Do I?" Kyle asked as he slowly revealed a machete from behind his back. "Okay, I'm ready to go play. I've got the machete from O.J. I'm ready to make everyone's throats ache."

Max stood there, not moving as Kyle began walking toward him. He couldn't believe what was going on.

"What, you think I'm kiddin' you?" Kyle raised the machete as he came closer to Max. "Run, bitch, run!"

Max turned and began running down the hall to the double doors, Kyle following close behind.

"In your eyes, you bid me farewell!" Kyle screamed with wild eyes as Max burst through the doors.

Max turned and headed up the stairs to his right. When he got to the top, he turned left and hoped to lose Kyle by continuing the stairs. Kyle came a couple second later. He didn't see Max in the hall before him, so he figured Max must have gone up the stairs. At the top, he wondered why Max would continue the stairs and ran out into the hall.


Max was now at the top of the last flight of stairs. He looked back and found no sign of Kyle. His plan had worked. He jogged around the corner and past some lockers. As he was passing some stairs to his left, he happened to look over. As he did, he saw Kyle racing toward him.

"Why are you doing this?" Max yelled as he began running again, Kyle riding his heels.

"Don't ever try to understand the situation!" Kyle yelled back.

He raised the machete and brought it down on Max's right shoulder, cutting through the bone but not all of the flesh. Blood spurted everywhere as Kyle removed the blade, and Max's arm hung loosely from his body.

"Ha ha! Gotcha!" Kyle yelled.

Max ran for the boys' bathroom and closed the door as quickly as he could with his one good arm. He tried to hold it shut, but Kyle had the advantage of two arms, and managed to pull it open. Max backed himself into a corner as Kyle advanced on him. He screamed for help. "Go ahead, yell," Kyle said. Here, I'll scream with you. AH, somebody help! Don't you get it? No one can hear you. Now shut the fuck up and get what's coming to you!"

"You'll go to hell for this. God will never forgive you."

"Never have I seen your god, so why should I believe in faith?"

"If you're going to kill me, just do it already!" Max screamed at Kyle.

"Youre right. What am I waiting for?"

Kyle raised the machete high above his head and lowered it in one swift motion. Max's head went rolling across the bathroom floor. It stopped a couple of feet from his body and stared up at Kile, accusingly.

"What are you looking at?" Kyle scoffed.

He kicked the head away and walked calmly out of the bathroom. He threw the machete aside and clapped his hands together in an up-down fashion.

"All in a day's work."


Cold

It's so cold in here

So, so cold

Will you warm me

I don't think so


You only care

About yourself

Are you a selfish jerk

Answer me that


Are you hooked on yourself

I hope you're not

So cold

Put your arms around me


Please warm me

Comfort me

Please, cold

So, so cold


Come Away with Me

Nothing pretty here to see

Look at me and you will see

Only dirty here to see

Look at me and you will see


Come into my world

And you will see

Look into my black eyes

And you will see


Notice my anguish

Only you can see

Recognize my pain

Only you can see


Come with me

And make others see

Away from this place

And make others see


Confused

What's going on here?

I don't know anymore

I'm so confused

CONFUSED!


I need a break

To clear my head

Need to sort things out

UGH! CONFUSED!


What's going on here?

I don't know anymore

People aren't always

Who they seem


Saying one thing

To your face

Another to your back

CONFUSED!


I'm so damned confused

I don't know anymore

I don't care anymore

CONFUSED!


Control

Darkness overcomes me

I feel black inside

I think you're petrified

Don't make me miss you


I haven't seen you in so long

But I still scare you

You are mindless around me

But that's alright


I control your mind

You can't stop me

No matter how hard you try

You can't stop me


Darkness overcomes me

I feel black inside me

I think you're petrified

Don't make me miss you


Who's in control

You or me

I am your hatred

I am your evil


You think you have control

But you don't

I control everything

Because I am what's inside


Death to the Bitch

Hey, look in the ditch

There lies a bitch

She's on her knees

Saying please, please


The cock she wants

She won't get

As the guy she wants

Chops off her head


Hey, look in the ditch

There lies a bitch

Dead as can be

Now Kyle is free


Now she is dead

Like we all wished

We will never again

Have to see her pissed


Deception

A helicopter descended into a field of tall, dead grass that stopped just above a full-grown man's waist. Its silhouette barely seen against the dark sky even with the full moon shining brightly. Five figures emerged from the chopper dressed in military décor. The rest followed as one of them took lead. Another ran ahead.

"Hey! Over here!" he yelled as he bent down.

He stood up, holding something, and let out a strangled scream before dropping it, his eyes wide with horror. It had been a Beretta 9mm handgun and a disembodied hand curled around it, hacked off at the wrist. They heard rustling coming from the grass. The one who had run ahead screamed again as three powerful shapes attacked and started ripping into his flesh.

They were the size and shape of dogs, as big as German Shepherds maybe, except that they seemed to have no fur, no skin. The others looked around, confused. There were more of them coming. They had to get out of there.

"Come on, head for that mansion over there!" The leader swung his arm in the direction of a looming building.

The beasts were everywhere. The group shot at the dogs to ward them off the best they could as they made their way to the abandoned mansion. When they reached it, the front doors were unlocked so they piled in and slammed the doors shut just in time as one of the things tried to stick its head in after them.

"What the hell were those things?" one of them yelled to no one in particular.

There were only three of them now. They appeared to have lost one along the way. They stood there in the main hall, looking at each other.

Christy Wittenberg, a twenty-three-yeard-old machine expert, stood at five-foot-five with one-hundred-eleven pounds, black hair that came down to her shoulders, and brown eyes. She was wearing navy blue pants, a matching beret which she wore on her head, black boots, and a blue T-shirt to complete the ensemble.

Bowe Linde, a thirty-eight-year-old mission leader, stood at six feet with one-hundred-eighty-seven pounds, short brown hair, and sunglasses to hide his deceitful eyes. He wore them at all times, even at night. He had on a black long-sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbows. The rest of his look consisted of black pants, shiny black boots, and black gloves to top it off.

And last, but not least, James Garza, a thirty-eight-year-old weapons specialist, stood at six feet with one-hundred-ninety-seven pounds, shaggy black hair, and brown eyes. His outfit was made up of a puffy red vest, zipped up halfway over a faded brown T-shirt, and brown camo pants to finish it off.

"Where's Kyle?" Christy asked.

"He must have gotten cut off from us. We'll find him later," Linde said nonchalantly. "He'll be fine. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself. But for now, I want you and James to take the west door over there."

Christy and James headed for the west door as Linde had ordered. James went first, the door creaking as he opened it. When they walked inside, they were mesmerized by the elegance of the dining room. It was a huge rectangular shape with a long dinner table going the length of it down the middle. The ceiling was open to a second floor balcony. To the left of the table was a bunch of junk, nothing much of interest. To the right, halfway down the wall, was an old grandfather clock. At the other end of the room, there appeared to be a fireplace. There was no fire going in its hearth.

The two of them went to the right of the table since it was less cluttered. As they passed the grandfather clock, they noted how its hands stood still and its glass had been shattered. They continued on to the fireplace. James stopped so suddenly that Christy ran into him.

"What is it, James?" she asked, trying to see over his broad shoulders.

James knelt down and Christy saw why he had stopped so suddenly. There, before James, was a pool of dark red blood. It looked fresh.

"Oh, my god," Christy screamed.

"I just hope this isn't Kyle's blood. You go search the rest of the mansion while I examine this blood."

There was a door on the north wall and Christy went through it. She could either go left or right. She heard some sort of slopping sound coming from her left and decided to check it out. She slunk a few steps and came into a sitting area. There was a figure stooped over a body. Christy gasped as the figure swiveled its head to look at her. The pale blue cataract eyes; the rotting, stinking flesh; the red bloodstain around its mouth.

Christy screamed and pulled her Beretta. She opened fire on the creature before her, hitting it seven times in the chest and abdomen. She started to back up slowly as the monster started advancing toward her. The bullets hadn't even seemed to faze him. Christy turned and ran for the door she had come through.

"James," she panted as she slammed the door shut behind her.

"Christy, what is it?" James asked as he stood up.

"There's - There's some kind of..." she tried to say before the door crashed open behind her.

"Uuuunnnnhhhh!"

"What the hell," James cried as he whipped out his Python revolver and put two bullets in the creature's head.

It fell to the floor and wriggled a little before finally becoming still.

"That was a goddamn zombie!" James exclaimed.

"That can't be," Christy breathed as she stared down at the lifeless corpse.

"We'd better report this to Linde."

"I agree. Let's go."

James took lead again as they headed back to the main hall. When they came into the light of the main hall, Linde was nowhere to be seen.

"Linde!" James yelled into the brightly lit room. "Linde!"

"Where could he be?"

"I don't know. What I do know is that something very strange is going on here."

They searched the main hall for Linde but found no sign of him anywhere. They met up in front of the stairs. James turned to Christy.

"I'll try upstairs, you take the east door over there," he said. "We'll meet back here in half an hour."

"Gotcha," Christy said, then headed for the door as James climbed the stairs.

She emerged into a small square room with paintings on every wall. There was a tall statue of a woman holding a vase of water above her head standing on a pedestal in the middle of the room. There were two doors opposite the one she had come through. The one on the left was open but blocked by a small chest. It was unlikely that Linde had gone that way...

That left the door on the right. It opened to a long hallway. There were a couple of wide windows showing only the darkness outside. There were three display chests that lined the inner wall, each topped with a small lamp and displayed an array of obscured objects. She walked forward to examine one of the shelves.

Crash!

The window behind her imploded, a sinewy form lunging into the hall, growling and snapping its jaws. It was one of the beasts from outside. It charged her and she shot at it. It fell to the ground and got right back up. It came after her again, and this time she aimed for its head. Bam! Bam! Bam! Three quick shots and it was down for the count.

The corridor took a sharp turn and she hurried on, past more macabre displays. The door at the end of the long hall was unlocked. She came into another dim room with more paintings on the walls. The first door on the right was locked, a carving of an armor on its key plate. If Linde had come this way, she didn't imagine he was locking doors behind him...

The next door she tried opened into a small bathroom with an antique feel, complete with a ceiling fan and an old-fashioned, four-footed tub. There was no sign of recent use.

Christy went back out into the hall and edged around another corner, wondering if James had found Linde, or Kyle for that matter. The last two doors in the hall were locked from the other side. It was high-time she be getting back to James anyway. She made her way to the main hall, miraculously not encountering a single monster.

When she came into the light of the main hall, Christy saw James slouched on the stairs, head in hands.

"James, what's wrong?" she asked, walking over to him. "Did you find Linde?"

"No," he groaned. "Kyle. I found him in one of the rooms upstairs. His - His body has been torn to shreds. I don't know what could have done such a thing."

Christy slumped down beside James and put an arm around his shoulders to comfort him. She had known that he and Kyle had been very good friends.

"Look at you two. Sobbing like a couple of babies."

Christy whipped her head up too late as Linde knocked her over the head with the butt of his gun. James tried to get to his feet as Christy fell to the floor but was too slow. Linde turned the gun on him.

"Why?" James asked. "Why did you do it, Linde?"

"For the money, of course," Linde said. "And to protect the research. No one can know what is going on here. I sicced one of my creatures on Kyle, and now it's your turn to die. Soon, it will be Christy's turn."

"No, you can't!"

"Oh, but I can and I will," Linde said, then pulled the trigger, sending a bullet to the center of James' brain.

He then picked up Christy's limp body and carried her off. She awoke in what looked like a lab of some sort. Linde was standing a couple of feet away.

"It was you, wasn't it?" she said accusingly. "You did this. Where's James?"

"Don't worry about James. He won't be bothering us anymore. But now is the time for you meet my most prized possession. Behold!" he said, raising his arms and turning toward a big glass tube on the far wall that Christy hadn't noticed until now.

It was at least eight or nine feet tall, hooked up to its own computer console - and the thing inside filled it, top to bottom. It was monstrous. It was tall, but proportionally correct, at least through its broad, muscular torso and long legs. Those parts appeared human. One of its arms had been altered into a cluster of massive, dragging claws, hanging past the knees, while the other seemed ordinary, if overly large.

There was a thick, bloody tumor protruding from where its heart would be, and Christy realized, staring at the bulbous mass, that it was the thing's heart. It was pulsing slowly, expanding and contracting in slow rhythmic beats.

She moved a little closer to get a better look. She could see lines of scar tissue snaking across its limbs, surgical scars. It had no sexual organs. They had been cut away. She looked up at its face and saw that parts of the flesh there had also been removed. The lips were gone and it seemed to grin broadly at her through the sliced red tissue of its face, all its teeth exposed.

"Say hello to Tyrant," Linde said proudly. "He's the key to your demise."

Linde walked over to a computer console and flipped a few switches. The tyrant opened its eyes and began beating his human hand against the glass tube. After a couple of hits, the glass shattered to the floor.

"Hahaha!" Linde laughed triumphantly as the tyrant tooks its first step into the world.

It looked at him with menacing eyes.

"KIll her," Linde pointed to Christy.

But instead of turning toward her, the tyrant kept its gaze trained on Linde. It stalked over to him, clawed-hand raised and ready to strike at any moment.

"No. You listen to me. I control you. You listen to-"

The tyrant brought its clawed-hand down and around, skewering Linde and raising his body high in the air. Christy looked on in astonishment. The tyrant had just killed its creator. It now turned toward her to finish the job after dropping Linde's lax body to the ground. She could not move. Her muscles were frozen stiff with fright. The tyrant came barreling down on her.

It raised its clawed arm, ready to strike. She backed up but was not quick enough. The hand came down and the claws protruded her abdomen and came out through her back. The last thing she saw before she died was that Linde's body had disappeared.


Deserve?

Why do you love me

Do I deserve you

Why do you want me

When no one else does


I treated you badly

And you apologized to me

Am I a good person

Can I make you happy


At first, it was just fun

Then you succumbed to your feelings

You professed your love to me

And you stole my heart away


You lift me up

When I am down

You wipe away my tears

When I am sad


You genuinely care

And I love you, too

But the question remains

Do I deserve you


Do I Matter?

Love me

Do you or

Don't you

I want the answer


Want me

Do you or

Don't you

I know you do


Why

For my body or

For my mind

I think for my body


I want you

But I don't

I can never have you

Unless you want me


It doesn't matter

What I want

All that matters

Is what you want


So why should I

Be friends with you

If the only needs fulfilled

Are yours


If I would tell you I want you

Would you say yes

Or would you say no

Do my feelings and wants matter


Do you care

At all for me

I care for you

But I don't know how much


I care for you

But I don't know for how long

It all depends on you

If you respect even a friend with benefits


Don't Be Late

My child is dying

Having been shot in the chest

Crimson everywhere

On my clothes and my hands


I hold him in my arms

As I dial 911

I say "Please hurry,

My child is bleeding to death."


They say they'll

Be on their way

It seems like

It takes hours


My child is having labored breathing

He is fading fast

Please hurry up

You damn ambulance


If my child dies

I cannot live on

If my child dies

I'll shoot myself too


Then you'll have two bodies

To deal with

You'll have more work

If you're late


So don't be late


Don't Even Try

I'm dead inside

I have no feeling

I'm so numb

I feel nothing


You helped me

Become like this

So please get away

Before doing more damage


You've been inside

But you're not welcome back

Not in my head

Not in my body


Don't even try

You won't get in

Don't even try

You can't get in


You can't get to me

I'm no longer jealous

You can't get to me

So don't even try


Dream

I dreamt of you the other night

Everything was oh so right

We were talking like old friends

But then in popped your little hen


She started a riot

I would not buy it

I got in her face

And you defended my place


I couldn't believe it

Could it actually be

That you finally came

To be with me


El Diablo

My body's

Flowing in darkness

Can't you see me

With no light


I'm totally

Drained now

My work here

Is done


There's no more

Need for me

So as I lie here

I peacefully die


Endless Waiting

Come closer

Come my way

Never mind

Please get away


Come here

No, get away

I want you

But you need to fray


Ok, I'm ready

No, I changed my mind

I'm sorry

I just need more time


Try all you want

Maybe you'll succeed

But you won't gain nothing

Based on greed


I know you love me

And I love you

But just think

Even though

If we go through


I may say I'm ready

Even though I'm not

Please don't ridicule me

For something that I thought


Enter Me

"Sensation washes over me,

I can't describe it"

That's what I'd love to say

But you give me no reason


Remember me

After I'm long gone

I'll remember you

No matter what


I may not be your type

But then again, what is your type

I wouldn't change myself anyway

I like the way I am


The man I'm with will have to like me

For who I am

The way I look

And the way I act


Every Time

Acid trip every time

That's what it feels like

Every time

Every time I think of you


I long for you

I know I could love you

If only I knew you

Let me in


Let me into your secret world

And I'll let you into mine

Let's build a secret

Of our own together


C'mon, we can do it

Just let me in

Let me love you

And I'll let you love me


Please, you break my heart

Every time you turn me down

I turned you down a couple of times too

But that was before I was into you


I feel for you now though

Every time I look at you

Please don't turn your back on me

I don't like to be ignored


Explain

Never wanted to be your girlfriend

You were so mistaken

Didn't have time to explain

Will you give me a chance


I beg of you

I know you don't like me

I just want

A chance to explain


To explain my intentions

You are so mistaken

Let me explain

Maybe then you'll understand


The Façade Is Over

I wear this fucking mask

Because you cannot handle me

You think you know me

But you don't know shit


Nobody knows me

Not the real me

What makes you think

You're so special


After the curtain closed

Oh, so long ago

There's been only one

Who I let in completely


Now there's no one

Here for me

Who I can tell

All my deepest, darkest secrets


Now the curtain has

Been closed completely

When it comes to trust

The stage is empty


The audience is full

Expecting a show

But they won't get one

Because I'm through with acting


The actors in my head

Have all left the building

All that's left is me

But I'm not here either


Faces of Betrayal

All the clowns with painted faces

Dance around him as he paces

Procelain dolls with beautiful eyes

Push her down as she cries


Welcome to the end

The end of the living

Welcome to the dead

The dead are forgiving


To get through the gates of hell

You must die very well

To get through the cells of hell

You must have perfect health


All the clowns with painted faces

Dance around him as he paces

Porcelain dolls with beautiful eyes

Push her down as she cries


Lie your hands upon your faces

Wish away all your traces

She ran away while you were weeping

You thought that she was really sleeping


To get through the gates of hell

You must die very well

To get through the cells of hell

You must have perfect health


Beg for forgiveness before you die

Tell your mother not to cry

Raise your arms for god's surprise

As you die, you close your eyes


This is the end

The end of the living

These are the dead

The dead are forgiving


The Fall of Max Abbas

He only remembered leaving the party and getting into his car. It went black after that. He didn't know what had happened. Max Abbas was now in the middle of a cornfield. His head was throbbing. He raised a hand and touched the back of his head. He felt wetness there and pulled his hand away to discover his fingers full of blood.

"What the hell?" he wondered aloud.

"Oh, sorry about that, Max. I had to hit you over the head with a lead pipe."

A figure came into view, and Max's eyes widened. It was Josh Kuiken, his best friend.

"Did you bring me here?" Max asked.

"Yes, I did."

"Why? Is this a joke?"

"Of course not. You broke my heart, you bastard."

"What are you talking about?" Max let out a nervous laugh.

"Don't act like you don't know."

"But I don't know."

"Come on, get in the car. We're going for a ride. Sit up front."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Then, I guess I'll have to kill you right here and now," Josh said as he pulled a 9mm handgun from his jeans.

"Okay, okay, I'll go."

Josh helped Max to his feet and wiped the dirt off his cut little tush with the hand not holding the gun. Max started to object and Josh raised the gun, reminding him who was in charge.

"How I crave you every time I'm near you," Josh whispered into Max's ear as he led him to the car.

"What are you going to do to me?"

"Bitch, I'ma kill you. I ain't done. This ain't the chorus. I ain't even drug you into the woods yet to paint the forest."

"What do you mean, this ain't the chorus?"

"It's from an Eminem song. Just shut up, I gotta think. Here, put this blindfold on. You can't see where we're going."


When Josh finally removed the blindfold, they were in the woods. Max was barely standing on his tiptoes. His shirt had been torn off and his wrists were bound together above his head. He looked up to see the rope that held his wrists was tied around a thick tree branch above. Josh was standing only a couple feet away.

"My pain is caused by my pleasure," he said, looking into Max's eyes. "My soulmate lives in your body. I can't get you out of my head."

"I'm yours. I'll do anything you want," Max whined.

"Now you tell me you like it. You tell me you want it. You're mine and you don't need another one. Come on and tell me you like it. Tell me you want it."

"Yes, I like it. I want it. Just please don't kill me," Max said in a panicky, pleading voice.

"Fuck that shit! I don't believe you. Look at what you've done to me. You've become my enemy."

"I thought we were friends."

"We were, but if I can't have you, no one can," Josh yelled, wagging the gun at Max.

"You think you're a little closer to changing me?" Max said, a broad smile spreading across his face. "You're never gonna win me over. You're wasting your time."

Josh didn't seem to notice. He'd gone off to his own little world.

"I will devour you," he said, seeming to stare right through Max. "Take all the pain away. I cannot keep my hand from reaching out so that I can empower you for all eternity. It seems to ease my mind to know that you brought meaning to my life."

"Oh, my god. You really have gone insane, haven't you?"

Josh didn't answer. He came back to reality and rushed up to Max's face.

"I hate you! I hate you! I swear to god I hate you!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. His voice lowered a bit. "Oh, my god, I love you!"

"You really are sick. You need some help."

"You're going to help me, Max," Josh said.

He threw the gun to the ground and replaced it with a pocket knife. There was now fear in Max's eyes as he realized for the first time that he was going to die.

"What are you going to do with that?"

"You'll see," Josh replied as he reached up to Max's face with the knife.

He pushed the tip of the sharp blade into the flesh just below Max's hairline and began slicing toward the side of his head. Max let out a blood-curdling scream as blood started to run down his forehead and into his eyes.

"What are you doing?!" Max screamed to Josh.

"Just like cutting a warm knife through butter," was all Josh said.

He was now headed toward Max's left ear. He sliced down and under the chin and back up past the right ear until he came to where he had started.

"Perfect," he said to himself as he put the bloody pocket knife away.

He reached up to Max's hairline with both hands and put his fingers underneath the warm flesh. He began to pull gently. Max screamed even louder as his skin separated from the muscle. Josh continued to pull until he had completed peeled Max's face off. He turned it around and placed it over his own face as if it were a Halloween mask. The blood acted as glue and it stayed in place.

"How the fuck could you do this to me? How the fuck could you do this to me?" Max screamed as he stared at his own face on Josh's body.

"You did it. It's your fault," Josh said through Max's lips. "Oh, my god, I'm cracking up. Get a grip, Josh. Max? Hey, Max!"

Max's chin fell silently to his chest and he knew no more.


Forever

Before you slip

Into unconsciousness

I'd like to have

Another kiss


From your tender lips

Sensuous and brown

I long to be

In your arms


As you lie still

I lay my head on your chest

Listening to your heartbeat

I reminisce about the past


I'm sorry it had to come to this

Our love is no more

The memories of you are cherished

I will never let you perish


Forgive Me

I am so sorry

For what I did

Will you ever

Forgive me


I know it was wrong

But excitement

Overcame me

Please forgive me


I regret doing it

I wish I could

Take it back

Let's just forget it


My mouth is shut

From now on

Please don't hate me

Any longer


I want to be friends

That's all for now

I desire you no longer

Even though you're good


Can we please

Be friends

At least just that

I don't want to be enemies


Please forgive me

For I have done bad

Please talk to me

Show that we're cool


Friends

You were my friend

How could you

Betray me like this

Shit, now I'm yours


Paranoia controls my life

You sucked me dry

You stole my life

Forgive me, I don't know why


The time has come

To realize

What you are

What you've done


You terrorized me

Because I loved you

But you hurt me

Now I hate you


You stole my innocence

In my eyes

You'll see

I'm empty inside


Friendships

I'm going to my

Bad place now

To be alone

For all eternity


I lost my best friend

For the second and last time

I'm not going to be

Screwed over again


All my other "friends"

Are not really friends

It is better to

Have no friends


You don't get hurt that way

My friendships always fuck up

I'm giving up on having friendships

I'll never trust anyone ever again


It only leads to hurt and anger

HURT AND FUCKING ANGER

That's all there is

That's all that becomes of friendships


Never trust anyone

NO ONE

EVER

Never again


Friendship - True or False?

I wish I had someone,

Someone with who I could share

Share my joys and sorrows.

Sorrows which sometimes drive me insane.

Insane is where I practically live.

Live there I do because,

Because I have no friends to talk with.

With people I talk but,

But they are not friends.

Friends are people you can rely and depend,

Depend on and confide in are friends.

Friends are something I do not have.

Have I no friends because,

Because friends come and,

And friends go but,

But friends do,

Do not come easily for me.

Me, I am my only friends because,

Because I am the only,

Only one I can trust.

Trust always comes,

Comes with a price for me.

Me, I try to trust people but,

But I always find betrayal.

Betrayal is a word I know,

Kow all too well.


Fuck This World

None of this matters

It never really mattered

Why should I try

To keep fooling myself


The whole fucking world

Is dead to me now

And all the people in it

I hate this goddamn place


I wish I could leave

And live in the past

This place has fucked me over

So bad


I have no friends anymore

They all left me

Just like the others

I'm leaving them now


I'm back to my old home

That's where I belong

I don't know why I ever left

Never again will I leave


I only get burned when I do

I should know better

I have been burned so many times

I have no more friends


And I like that just fine


Fuck You

Fuck you

I don't want you back

Never ever

Back in my life


You've screwed me over

For the very last time

Quit coming back

Cuz I've finally gained the power


I didn't even want you

The last time we fucked

I just used your sorry ass

Pathetic excuse for a man


I know how much

You hate me

But you won't believe

How much I hate you


You're not worth my time

You're not worth my energy

So fuck you

Is all you'll hear


Games

Tell me now

What does it mean

When you do

The things you do


You confuse me so

I just want to know

Why are you tugging

On this string to my heart


Back and forth

That's what you do

How am I to know

Whether it's true


Should I give in

And be deceived

Or stay strong

And keep going crazy


The shit's catching up

About to hit the fan

Unless we resolve this

Very, very soon


Goodbye Forever

Keep away from me

Never misunderstand me


My life is a living hell

I burn in it every day

Would you care to join me

If not, then face the other way


You life'll be over soon

Within the blink of an eye

You leave me with nothing again

Look through these blackened eyes


All you are is

A stupid little pup

Following whoever

Will lead you


Your brain is gelatin

Soft and putty

Waiting to be molded

Like clay


You know not

Of others' feelings

All you care about

Is yourself


I'm glad to see

You not looking at me

I'm glad to not be

The one holding your leash


All you are is

A sick little pup

I don't like pervs

And I don't like dogs


So be on your way

I say goodbye

I'm rid of you now

I say goodbye


Help Me

I'm to the end of my rope

I'm about to jump over the ledge

Fall to my death

There lies my freedom


Life is hell

As we all know

Many can handle it

I can't anymore


Someone help me

While I'm still here

Take me away

From the cause of my pain


Please help me

I don't want to die

But I will

If I have to


HELP ME!


Humans

Look at me

I am dirty

Do you think I'm pretty

Or do you agree with all of them


Nobody knows me

Not even dear old mommy

They lost me when I was still young

They'll never gain me back


Look at me

What do you see

Do you see a princess

Or do you only see dirt


You be the judge

I don't care what you think

Don't pretend to be my friend

'Cause I don't want you


Don't come near me

I like my solitude

Leave me in the dark

I don't need no light


Keep your phoniness

To yourself

I can see

Right through you


Look into the mirror

And you'll see me

I am everyone

Whether you admit it or not


I am what grows

Inside you and

All your friends

I AM THE EVIL


See my black heart

As it lies still in my chest

It hasn't been beating

Since I was born


This is the real me

You be the judge

Do you think

You wanna get to know me


I Don't Want You

Look into my eyes

And you will see the real me

See the hurt inside

My whole life is pain


Shambles is what it is

You made it this way

So much better

Without you here


Thought you broke my heart

But you were wrong

You made me laugh

I am so happy now


You make me happy

Without wanting to

What you don't see

Is that I don't want you


I Have Issues

Hiding in my head

The abuse is so blind

Am I that bad

That you have to be so unkind


I have issues

Issues make me go insane

Do you want my issues

Be sure to keep hold of the reins


I once had a friend

Who wasn't really a friend

He betrayed me

Then he came back again


It's better not to do anything

That was our mistake

It was fun while it lasted

But now we gotta break


I have issues

Issues make me go insane

Do you want my issues

Be sure to keep hold of the reins


Do not try to pull me out

Because I am going insane

If you try with no doubt

You will feel my pain


I'm on the Outside

I'm on the outside lookin' in

That's the way it's always been

Never felt like I belong

So I hope you'll listen to this song


Have you ever felt like an outcast

Well, you're not the only one who's felt that

Listenin' to Korn

Not carin' for porn


People think they're ignorin' me

But they're wrong

I'm the one who's ignorin' them

They don't even know what's goin' on


They don't like you if you're different

They don't even give you a chance

If you don't believe in what they believe

Then you never have a chance of becomin' their friend


Some people think they're so hot

But when you think about it, they're not

Tryin' to act real cool

End up lookin' like a fool


So just know this

You're not the only one

You'll really be in bliss

If you make your own fun


I Still

Why do I still let you affect me

After all this time, I thought it was over

I thought I'd moved on

But it's clear that I haven't


Because your words and actions

Make me think

Make me cry

Make me wonder


I don't know why

I wish I did

I still love you

Though I've tried not to


Why do I still let you affect me

Why can't I let you go

Why can't I move on

And never shed another tear for you


I Want

I want to be yours

But you won't let me in

Sometimes it seems that

I'm not good enough for you


I want to be yours

But you have no time for me

Everyone else

But never me


I want to be yours

But where do I fit

It really seems

Like you never wanted me


I want to be yours

But you strung me along

I was falling in love

While you were falling in hate


I want to be yours

But like they always say

If you truly love something, set it free

If it's meant to be, it will come back


I Will Always

I will always love you

So why don't you love me

Why don't you

Love me back


My heart breaks

When you turn your back

Just love me once

I won't complain


That's all I want

To see how you love

I may not like it

But at least I'll know


We'll always be friends

If you allow

I don't want to ruin it

It's up to you


It's almost impossible

For man and woman to be friends

One almost always

Falls for the other


Sometimes it works

Sometimes it doesn't

Would I risk it

I think I'd rather have a friend


Leave Me Alone

Get the fuck off of me

Get away from me

Leave me alone

I said leave me alone


You're such a jerk

You take whatever you want

It doesn't make you any more of a man

If you take without asking


I thought I knew you

But I guess I was wrong

You're not my best friend

You're my worst enemy


Get the fuck off of me

Get away from me

Leave me alone

Leave me alone


Let Me Go

I don't know what I'm doing

Why am I here

Do I belong

I'm so unsure


I don't feel right

I'm so uncomfortable

Who wants me here

Am I an intruder


Am I accepted

Among these strangers

Sometimes I feel

Like I'm lost


Are you tiring

Of me so

If you are

Please let me know


I don't want

You mad at me

If you are

Please let me go


Just let me go


Lies

You turned your back on me

You promised me you would

Be with me forever

Sitting by my death bed


But now I know

That was all a lie

You ran off with that hoochie

As I began to cry


I sat there and wept

I waited for you

To come and comfort me

But you never came


How could you leave me

You said you'd love me

'Til the day you die

What happened to that


Why did you lie to me

I didn't deserve that

Is that what marriage is about

I thought it's about honesty


But I guess you're gone

And you'll never be back

I hate to say this but

Farewell, so long, Jack


The Life of a Cat

I sit around all day

What else would I do

Sometimes I run around

Just to annoy you


Come over here and pet me

You stupid human

I'll lick your hand

That's your reward


Good human

Good person

Now come here

And get your treat


Lonely Trash

This is total and utter bullshit

Why the fuck am I here

Sometimes it seems like I'm alone

So fucking alone


All around me, everyone

All of my friends have someone

And here I sit

All by myself


It seems like I am the only one

Who cares sometimes

And everyone just plays

Everyone plays me


The only man I care for

Couldn't care less

So here I sit

With no one to hold me


I am so lonely

No one to hold me

No one who actually cares for me

All they want is a lay


Then they ditch me

Like a piece of trash

I guess that's what I am

A goddamn piece of trash


Lost

I once had a passion for this

But that was drained from me

Oh so long ago

I couldn't care less now

I'm so bored out of my skull

This routine is killing me

Day in and day out

I need some freedom

I need some excitement

In this boring life of mine


Love/Hate

Why do you hate me

I wish you would say

Why do I love you

I wish I could say


I am clearly fucked up

No one knows what to do

I wanna rip my eyes out

So I can't look at you


The hatred I see in your eyes

Makes me want to kill you

But I can't devour you

Cuz you'll be inside me


I could never kill you

I love you too damn much

You don't realize how much you hurt me

But I believe you really don't care


How could so much love

Turn into so much hate

I wanna tear my ears off

To avoid hearing your voice


Or would I rather rip out your vocal chords

No, I could never do that

I would gladly hurt myself

Before ever hurting you


Marionette

My resolve is weakening

My strings becoming visible

You wish to be my puppeteer

As you wield shiny shears


You see me become feeble

You feel the power surge

As you tell me not to argue back

Liking nothing more than to see me fall


That's all you've wanted

To see me cry

To know you can still hurt me

Even though it pains you


I know the true reasons

You have strings, as well

Although, I no longer try to help

There is no hope for you


You want to pull my strings

Because you possess no control over your own

But sad news for you

Soon, you won't see my strings at all


Men

Men suck

All they wanna do is fuck

They don't care about you

They just wanna get inside you


They tell you they care

But in reality, they're not fair

They stiff you whenever they can

And by that, I mean literally, man


We pretty ourselves up

Just so they can fuck

Show me a man that doesn't play hookie

And wants something more than just a little nookie


Mistakes

Do you see

The fear in my eyes

Do you see

Me quiver and shake


As you advance

Your eyes turn blank

As you advance

Your hands begin to quake


Please have mercy

Because it's me

Please have mercy

Because you know me


I am your friend

Please don't hurt me

I am your friend

Please don't rape me


Leave me alone

And I won't tell

Leave me alone

Before you do what you'll regret


You'll feel sorry later

After you realize what you've done

You'll feel sorry later

After you've raped your best friend


Monster

Sideshow freak is nothing short

Of what I am

I guess that's all

I am to you


Always have been

Always will be

You deceived me

Stabbed me in the chest


I should have been smarter

And turned my back on you

But I trusted you so much

And served my heart on a platter


You were a monster

In disguise

You tore into my heart

And lapped up its blood


Why can't I learn

To never trust your kind

You gave me a lesson

And I failed miserably


Now you try to destroy me

What's up with that

I never thought you'd go so far

You are but only a monster


My Last Poem

Some days I wish I could take back things I've done in the past.

I wouldn't be as mentally fucked up as I am today.

On the other hand, I wouldn't be able to see the red flags and know them.

But still, I see the flags.

I know they're not yellow, green, or even pink.

I see they're red, yet I keep on a truckin'.

Because of this I have been raped,

And I have been emotionally backed into a corner for almost a whole year.

Are my legs just too short to reach the brake pedal?

Or am I just that much of a glutton for pain and anguish?

Instead of taking the recommended detour, I keep going through the roadblock and drive off the cliff on the other side.

I know it's there and it's just so alluring.

I must punish myself by pleasing others.


Never Meant to Be

Get out of my head

You stupid little fuck

I don't want you here

You are not welcome


So please get lost

You dirty little fuck

It wasn't meant to last

It was for right then


I can't fight these feelings

Feelings of hate inside

I hold for you now

All you do is take away


All these promises you made to me

You made in vain

You were the last one

Slipping away


This was never meant to be

So please get away

You stupid little fuck

It was never meant to be


Nevermore

Why do you mess with my brain like so

It's not a piece of gelatin for you to mold

If I told you I loved you, would you even care

Or would you turn around and run in fear


I know I am not the one for you

And you prove this to be true

Never again will we share our love

Because you won't even say "What's up"


I been hearing shit about you

But I don't care if it's true

Everyone here makes mistakes

And this is the price I have to pay


I won't apologize anymore

I am not sorry for being your whore

Say what you want about me

I really don't care, just bite me


I used to care but not anymore

After in my face, you closed the door

Never will you respect me too

So nevermore will I respect you


No More

You know what, bitch

Fuck you

I don't care for you

No more


No longer will you trick me

Into believing your lies

You're as transparent as plasma

I see right through you


I was once naïve

And then in denial

But that's in the past

I'm not settling for less


Fuck you, bitch

You think you're all that

Not all things go your way

Cuz I'm not coming back


No More Tomorrow

I wish I could die

Would you help me please

It's too late

So just help me die


You've never helped me before

So do me this favor

I want to die

But I don't know how


Nobody wants me here

I have no one

All my friends are gone

Never there for me


No one's ever

Been here for me

So why should I

Stick around for them


Not Over

I love you

I hate you

Why can't I

Get around you


I need you

I breathe you

Why can't I

Just have you


I'm over you

But am I really

A while from now

You'll be my envy


You're totally not

Good for me

But like a drug

I'm addicted


I can't stop

Thinking about you

Please tell me

Why that is


Ode to Travis

Everything was so much easier

When I hated your guts

I couldn't even stand

The sight of you


You were so ugly to me

Now you're so beautiful

I want you so much

But I'm unable to have you


It saddens and angers me

But I must accept it

You'll never be mine

Because you're with her


Opinions

Piss me off once

Piss me off twice

Piss me off thrice

That's just not right


Leave me alone

Just leave me alone

Can't you see

I wanna be alone


Why do you insist

On buggin' me

I told you I don't

Want you messin' with me


I may like Marilyn

And I may like Freddy

But that don't give you

No right to diss me


You diss me

I diss you back

You like country

While I like rap


I just so happen to think

That Mr. Krueger is da bomb

While you may think

That all he is is scum


Well, that's your opinion

I got my own


We may disagree

That don't mean we gotta fight

You shut up about yours

I'll shut up about mine


Over

I'm sick of this place

I'm sick of these people

I'm sick of your face

I will be lethal


This will all be over

But not soon enough

It needs to end now

Cuz I call your bluff


Pathetic Fuck

You burn your bridges as you tear open your stitches

You throw away the only thing that could help you

You cry out for help and then recede

Your lies are all that I perceive


As the rain pours and knocks outside

I hope you're in your fort and die

You piss and moan and whine and cry

You can only blame yourself, you chose your fate


Please!

Get away from me

Please, get away from me

I don't want you by me

No more, no more


Leave me alone

Please leave me alone

Can't you see

How much you scare me


Why must you do this

What's your reason

What did I do

To make you do this


You're freakin' me out

Please get away

Don't come any closer

Or I'll scream


Right now I'm screamin'

Inside of my head

So don't come no closer

Or you'll hear it too


Please don't touch me

You sicken me now

How could I have loved you

I hate you so now


Get away from me, please

It's so unbearable

You're driving me crazy

More than I was


Someone please help me

We're all alone now

Someone please help me

Before he hurts me now


It's happened before

But it's worse this time

Don't come so close

Keep your hands off me


I said "No!"

Don't you know what that means

It means get off me

Before you do what you please


I know you been schemin' this

For a while now

Finally puttin' it into effect

Everything's gotta go your way


Get off, get off, get off

Or I'm gonna tell

When you get through with me

You're gonna pay so bad


Your life'll be a living hell

Just wait and see

Think I'll keep quiet

Just wait and see


The Real Max

You broke my heart

Now you must die

You disappointed me

Now you must die


Tell me the truth

And maybe I'll spare your life

The truth about everything

And maybe I'll spare your life


I'm giving up on you

Before going too far

I'm forgetting about you

Before going too far


Release

I'm stuck in my head

Someone, please let me out

And please don't be cruel

When you let me run about


I've been stuck in here for years

I need to stretch my loins

And please don't come near me

With your filthy groins


You're not going to get anything

I'll scream to let you know

I'm not as quiet as you think

So you'd better let me go


I've been mentally fucked

Too many damn times

So don't try to climb in

And understand these rhymes


If you do, you'll be sorry

You won't like what you see

So while you have the chance

You'd better turn and flee


Revenge

Nobody cares what you say

Nobody cares anyway

By the way

You're gonna die today


You don't know what you've done

Soon you'll be shown

Before I'm through

You'll know, you'll know


Did you know

Nobody cares about you

Did you know

Nobody's gonna save you


You're all mine now

Every last bite

I'm going to enjoy this

Even if you fight


The more you fight

The more the merrier

Then I'll bite you

And rip into you like a terrier


There'll be no mercy

Sure, you gave me some

But I don't care

So for you, there'll be none


Should We Really Do This?

Taking what I can get

That's what I gotta do

Chills, chills, chills

That's what I got


Sometimes I think I know you

Other times I'm not sure

One minute you'll be a friend

The next you'll be a stranger


How well do I know you

Really, how well

Well enough to let you inside

We'll have to wait to find out


You make me sad

By dumping me

And then coming back

And accepting me


You toy with my feelings

So why do I still like you

Someone please tell me

Why I took you back


I promised myself I wouldn't

But look what I've done

I've taken you back

And now I'm letting you in


Letting you in deeper than before

Someone please tell me

Why I'm doing this

I don't even like you anymore


Some friendships are better left

Without taking the next step

So help me out here

Will we still be friends after


Sorry

Sorry I'm so jealous

I don't know why I care

You'll never be mine

In the mental sense


Sorry I'm so jealous

I know you're not mine

But I still hate having

To see you with other girls


Sorry I'm so jealous

I know you're just my friend

But still it tears me up inside

When we're so close yet so far


The Stalker

Hello, there. My name is Darla. I'd like to tell you a story about when I was twelve years old and in the sixth grade. Those were the good old days, weren't they? Well, maybe for you, but not for me. I had a lot of bad things happen to me when I was twelve. This story is about one of those things.

I had my typical crush on a crude thirteen-year-old boy named Elias. By the way, this all happened to me after his friend, Andy, made suggestive comments to me about what Elias wanted to do to me. After that, I was really scared. But that's a different story. This one is about the time Elias stalked me.

Back then, Elias and I rode the same bus home after school. One day, I decided to get off at his house. It was probably the second time I had done so. Everyone on the bus was cheering and chanting my name, and I liked the attention. I guess that's why I did it.

After the bus left and Elias had gone into his house, I began to walk home. I was half a block from my apartment building when I had a feeling I was being followed. I'd had a lot of those feelings back then, and they were almost always wrong. So I expected to see nothing as I turned around, but was surprised to see Elias's family van following slowly behind me.

Suddenly, the van pulled up to the curb in front of me. As soon as it stopped, Elias got out of the passenger side and started barreling toward me. I was frozen stiff. I didn't know what to do. All I remember thinking was, "He's going to hurt me. The bastard's going to hurt me."

He pushed me up against a tree and grabbed both of my wrists. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. No one was around to help me anyway. The driver of the van was staying put. Elias moved his body closer to mine to prevent me from moving, He brushed his lips against my left cheek as he whispered in my ear.

"You keep asking for something, you're eventually gonna get it," he said. "This is the icing on the top of the cake, sugar. You're gonna get what's coming to you, and I'm gonna give it to you."

I tried to knee him in the groin, but I couldn't move my legs. I was completely trapped. He sensed my attempt and let go of my left wrist just long enough to deliver a quick, hard slap to my face.

"You do that again, and you'll be even more sorry than you already are," he breathed into my face.

Then, without another word, he opened the passenger door of the van, got in, and was gone before my brain could really register what had just happened. The next day at school, he acted as if nothing had happened. From then on, I kept my distance from him the best I could.


Stupid

I can't believe I was so stupid

Again, I was so stupid

But I thought you were different

I thought you actually loved me


Now I have confirmed the truth

You did nothing but use me

Now that you don't need me

You want nothing to do with me


You never cared for me

You always said you would

Never shed a tear for me

You show now, you never loved me


You said you would die for me

And I believed you

I believed your lies

Every time you said, "I love you"


How could I have been so blind

I saw the truth

And I decided not to accept it

I pushed it away


Now I must accept it, accept the truth

That you show so clearly now

You never meant a single caring

Word you ever said to me


Surrender

You suck

All the shit in this world

You think

You're so fucking awesome


You will

Die for your treachery

I will

Be the one to kill you


The only way

You can get out of it

Is if you die

Before I get the chance


You'll be so sorry

If you don't

You'd better run

Or else surrender


Tell Me Why

Why am I with him

Why me

Why me

Why does this always happen to me


I think I get the best

It turns out to be not

It is always

The total opposite


Nobody cares for me

Nobody loves me

They tell me they do

But really, they do not


It is so obvious

When they treat me like this

Like I'll understand

And let it pass


Like I'll stand aside

In the back

Like I won't get hurt

Yeah, fuckin' right


How stupid can people be

I don't know how much longer

I can take this shit

Maybe it'll be over soon


Then everything will be

Back to normal

Just the way

It's supposed to be


They'll get back together

Cuz he's really not over her

If he's gonna do that

I'm not giving in


Why am I putting

Myself through this

Through all this pain

And all this misery


I just want to

Go home

Go home and be alone

Forever and eternity


Thinking

Why did I ever go with you

What was I thinking

Sure, I still want to fuck you

Wait, what am I thinking


I let you see my body

What was I thinking

I'd let you see it again

Wait, what am I thinking


I ruined our friendship

What was I thinking

I wanna get back with you

Wait, what am I thinking


I actually liked you

What was I thinking

I'm actually jealous

Wait, what am I thinking


Trapped

You cannot

Rape me inside

I have no place

To run and hide


You wanna touch me

Which I like

I have no place to run

So come and follow me


Trap me in a corner

Have your way with me

That's the only way you'll win

The only way I'll surrender


Two Stones

I have a problem

There are two stones

They're very good stones

But yet they are bad


I want them both

Though I know I shouldn't

They're no good for me

They'll only hurt


Don't know if I can have them

I think I could

I do want them

But then again, I don't


I know they're bad for me

But, oh, how I want them

They'll only hurt me

But I want them


I want them

Those two stones

I want them very bad

I want to get hurt


Use

You try to control me

I won't allow it

I've grown stronger

And you can't stand it


I be myself

You are surprised

You try to beat me down

But this time, you fail


It drives you crazy

That I can use you too

I no longer love you

I just want to feel you


No need to impress you

This time around

It makes me happy

When I see you frown


You used me once

Then we were through

I never knew

I could use you, too


We're Through

You're no good for me

Thank god it's over

What was I thinking

To have you over


I'm rid of you now

I think I finally am

You won't be my first

And I'm glad of that


So don't look at me

With those eyes

You're so pathetic

You'll never be mine


Now now, not ever

Not now, not ever


You chew people up

And spit them out

You're such a user

Don't sit there and pout


What a pathetic loser

That's what you are

Just a loser

Can't you see that you are


What's Goin' On?

I look up at the sky

And I can't see why

People throw their lives away

For something that just takes away


All this stuff is bullcrap

I can't see how they can believe that


You're on your own

That's the way it is

In this life

You are your only friend


They say we are

The future of this nation

But how can we be

If what we need is what we're missin'


How can we learn

When we have nowhere to turn

The school's all in debt

Really causes such a fret


Cuttin' classes here and there

How can we learn that way, my dear

We're supposed to expand our minds

But how can we if we don't have time


Life is sad

Life is bad

And when you're not lookin'

Life'll kick you in the ass


All this stuff is bullcrap, hey

I can't believe they can even think that way

Hating everybody 'cause the color of their skin

Why can't they just look at the person within


Callin' people fat

And callin' people skinny

I don't care if you hate me

This is the end of my little diddy


What the Hell?

Why does this world

Have to be so damn cruel

Walkin' home one day

People givin' you the finger


What's with a finger

Just one little finger

That gets us riled up inside

Makes us wanna scream out loud


Makes us wanna rip

Those creeps all apart

And tear out their insides

'Til they can't scream no more


Kill! Kill! Kill!

That's what goes through my head

When someone does to me

What people like them just did


They don't think I'll fight back

Just 'cause I seem quiet

They don't know what's capable

There'll be hell to pay if they do


They'll be sorry if they find out

And cryin' for their mommas

They'll be in such pain

They'll wish they could die


But I won't let them die

'Cause I cannot die

They'll sit there and suffer

Like they make me suffer


They'll be beggin' for mercy

But that ain't what they get

They only get my anger

My hatred and my fist


They have no reason

To do that to me

But I have a reason

To do it to them


You may think the golden

Rule doesn't apply here

But it does, "Do unto others

As you wish them to you"


What the hell

They do that to me

So they deserve it

Ten times back


Who I Am

I just wanna run and hide

Away from all this shit

Don't reach inside my mind

I'll claw your sanity to shreds


All I do is scare people

Who wants to be next

No one wants to help

No one wants to care


They're all too greedy

They all misperceive

They'll never understand

What made me who I am


Why

Why do I always fuck everything up

Why am I so goddamn paranoid

Why do you make me feel like this

Why am I so confused


Why are you still with her

Why are you not with me

Why do you find her so special

Why can't you just be with me


Why must you torment me like this

Why do you want me once, that's it

Why can't you stand to look at me

Why can't you just be mine


Why the Fuck?

Die, motherfucker, die

Die, motherfucker, die

Why do I still love you?

Someone please tell me why


You scar my heart

I let you

You tear me apart

I let you


Someone please

Give me a reason

What do I do

To deserve your wrath?


I try to be better

But to no avail

I do not know

What is wrong with me


What are my faults?

Tell me, motherfucker

How can I appease you?

Make me whole again


Why do I miss you?

What we had was never real

You used me, motherfucker

And I still let you


You life me up like the sweetest angel

Then you tear me down like a whore

Only after you're gone

Will I then see and be free


So die, motherfucker, die

Die, motherfucker, die

Why do I still love you?

Someone please tell me why


Wonder

I don't know

Why I'm here

Sometimes I wonder

I just wonder


Sometimes I wonder

Why I'm here

Why do I exist

Since you don't want me


Please don't

Keep me around

And keep me wondering

Why you want me


I have no clue

Please don't confuse me

Sometimes I

Don't want to be here


I feel so

Out of place

Sometimes

Around you


You make me feel small

And unwanted

I want to disappear

And never come back


I don't know

Why I'm here

Sometimes I wonder

I just wonder


You and Me

Look at you

And look at me

We are two

Very different people


What do you think

Maybe it would work out

But we'll never know

Until we try


I see you lookin' at me

I bet you see me too

When I look at you

The way you look at me


Why can't we be free

Be free

Fly free

And be beautiful


If you don't

Give me a chance

At least say hello

And become my friend


Get to know me

So I can know you

You don't have to love me

You just have to like me


But I guess

You won't do either

I'll still wait for you

But not forever